Mourning in Tonga

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds” 

This blog is in memory of my best friend, Alexis. Last year Alexis left us long before we were ready to say goodbye. Not a day of this last year has been easy without her. Losing Alexis was like waking up one day and not knowing how to breathe. She has been my other half since age seven. I truly believe that she is my soulmate. She was my person. This year I have learned a lot about love, friendship, life, and myself. A year ago last year my heart hurt so much and I did not think I would survive without her. A year later my heart still hurts, there is a spot where she is missing, but I survived. The part of my heart where she is missing will hurt indefinitely, but I will continue to survive.  

One of my favorite parts about Tonga is how they as a culture mourn. Their mourning, and burial process, and celebration of life is full of raw emotion. They take the time to put their loved one to rest and do not rush through the mourning process. In fact, Tongans can stay in mourning up to a year. Their cemeteries are a beautiful and peaceful place that remind you of how colorful and upbeat life is, how it should be celebrated because even though someone has left us their life is worth remembering and honoring.

Since being in Tonga and especially this past week it has been hard to imagine that she really isn’t here and she isn’t physically experiencing this adventure of my life with me. I know that Alexis was my biggest supporter in my Peace Corps dream and I can only hope I am making her proud so far. To find happiness and joy while remembering my sweet friend I have been finding Alexis’s beauty within the beauty of Tonga. This past week my friend Sammy helped me photograph the beauty of Alexis seen through Tonga. I see Alexis’s beauty in the flowers, new life, energy, and the natural beauty of Tonga. The spirit of Tonga is vibrant like Alexis's life.  

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come."

From seven until forever you will always be my best friend. 

I spent the last year mourning your life and I will spend the rest of them celebrating your life! 
 I will love you forever my sweet friend. Your beautiful soul is missed. I love you <3