Back in April my Town Officer, Kava passed away. It was a
surreal first couple of days. I went to school that morning to be told that
Kava was missing. He had gone diving for lobster with another man in my village
late the night before. A big wave hit them separating the two men. Afterwards
he couldn’t find Kava. He went to get help. Kava’s body was later recovered
about a mile down the coast from my village the next morning.
I have been to a handful of funerals since being in Tonga,
but this was the first one I had been to that was personal to me. At first I
wasn’t sure how to be a part of the funeral and how to best help my village,
but I was instantly welcomed by my village and allowed to help and participate
in the funeral preparations. Kava was a very gracious and wise man. I find
myself to be extremely lucky to have met him.
I remember my first week in Tufucai when all the faces and
names were running together and I couldn’t remember whom anyone was. There were
three men that I knew; I knew one was my town officer, one of the faifakau
(minister), and one took me to a store my first night, but I didn’t know who
was who. Anyways, a week into being here I went to Wednesday night church. I
was timid to go into the church without MeleOngo so I was awkwardly standing
outside waiting for her. Then Kava came up behind me and it was like he could
read my mind. He said, “Come on. You don’t need MeleOngo to go to church”. And
so Kava and I went to church and when kava stood to give a thank you (that’s
when I finally figured out he was the town officer) he said something about me,
something nice I am assuming, because all eyes turned to me accompanied with
big smiles.
Kava really was a great man that was admired and liked by
all.
To prepare for the actually funeral service, we had five
nights of failotu (small church services) at the home of Kava where people from
Tufuvai and all over the island came to give respect to Kava. Also, a lot of
cooking was done to feed all the people coming to see Kava. There are a couple
of reasons that man Tongan funerals last a week. One reason is so that family
members from the main island and from overseas have time to make their way
here. Kava had family that came from a couple of the other islands in Tonga, as
well as Australia, New Zealand, and India. The second reason is it gives the
family time to fully say goodbye to Kava and put him to rest. Then the night
before the funeral family members and fellow community members decorate the
church in black and purple to show mourning and blue and while to show he was a
part of the Wesleyan church in preparation for the funeral service. We stayed
up until about 2am preparing the church.
Finally, on the day of the funeral people starting making
their way to the funeral around 8am, with the funeral beginning at 9. From 9am
to 1pm people continue to come to the funeral. They will view the body,
including kissing and saying a final goodbye to person, sing hymns and eat.
People will work their way in between the church singing hymns and Kava’s house
eating and drinking. Then at 1pm the funeral service begins. Faifakaus from all
over the island come and together they deliver a sermon and lead the service.
Kava had seven at his funeral. Followed my speeches from a couple of family
members and singing. There is then a funeral precession to the cemetery.
Another short service is held as the body is lowered into the grave. At the end
of the service everybody who attends the funeral leaves with a big bag of raw
meat.
The failotu continues into that night and the following
night before the funeral in it’s entirety is over.
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