Siosifa Kava 30-4-15

Back in April my Town Officer, Kava passed away. It was a surreal first couple of days. I went to school that morning to be told that Kava was missing. He had gone diving for lobster with another man in my village late the night before. A big wave hit them separating the two men. Afterwards he couldn’t find Kava. He went to get help. Kava’s body was later recovered about a mile down the coast from my village the next morning.

I have been to a handful of funerals since being in Tonga, but this was the first one I had been to that was personal to me. At first I wasn’t sure how to be a part of the funeral and how to best help my village, but I was instantly welcomed by my village and allowed to help and participate in the funeral preparations. Kava was a very gracious and wise man. I find myself to be extremely lucky to have met him.

I remember my first week in Tufucai when all the faces and names were running together and I couldn’t remember whom anyone was. There were three men that I knew; I knew one was my town officer, one of the faifakau (minister), and one took me to a store my first night, but I didn’t know who was who. Anyways, a week into being here I went to Wednesday night church. I was timid to go into the church without MeleOngo so I was awkwardly standing outside waiting for her. Then Kava came up behind me and it was like he could read my mind. He said, “Come on. You don’t need MeleOngo to go to church”. And so Kava and I went to church and when kava stood to give a thank you (that’s when I finally figured out he was the town officer) he said something about me, something nice I am assuming, because all eyes turned to me accompanied with big smiles.

Kava really was a great man that was admired and liked by all.

To prepare for the actually funeral service, we had five nights of failotu (small church services) at the home of Kava where people from Tufuvai and all over the island came to give respect to Kava. Also, a lot of cooking was done to feed all the people coming to see Kava. There are a couple of reasons that man Tongan funerals last a week. One reason is so that family members from the main island and from overseas have time to make their way here. Kava had family that came from a couple of the other islands in Tonga, as well as Australia, New Zealand, and India. The second reason is it gives the family time to fully say goodbye to Kava and put him to rest. Then the night before the funeral family members and fellow community members decorate the church in black and purple to show mourning and blue and while to show he was a part of the Wesleyan church in preparation for the funeral service. We stayed up until about 2am preparing the church. 

Finally, on the day of the funeral people starting making their way to the funeral around 8am, with the funeral beginning at 9. From 9am to 1pm people continue to come to the funeral. They will view the body, including kissing and saying a final goodbye to person, sing hymns and eat. People will work their way in between the church singing hymns and Kava’s house eating and drinking. Then at 1pm the funeral service begins. Faifakaus from all over the island come and together they deliver a sermon and lead the service. Kava had seven at his funeral. Followed my speeches from a couple of family members and singing. There is then a funeral precession to the cemetery. Another short service is held as the body is lowered into the grave. At the end of the service everybody who attends the funeral leaves with a big bag of raw meat. 

The failotu continues into that night and the following night before the funeral in it’s entirety is over. 

'Aho Tamai

Finally, the third Sunday in May is for the dads. I found myself really missing my family on Father’s day. Of course I was missing my own pops, but I was really missing the memories of summer bbqs with my family on past Father’s Days.

Anyways, the fathers in Tufuvai led the church service and at the end of the service they were all presented with a lei and prayed over. Two PCVs from Tonga and Sami L came to church with me. It was fun to share the culture experience with them and it made my village very happy to see more palangis.

We also made Father’s Day presents for our dads. Though I failed with pictures. Only got one picture from Class 1 and 2. But I do have a funny story. In class three and four we were drawing pictures of our dads and describing them with adjectives. AS my students were working I was making one to as an example. After I was finished one of the kids said to me, “Bailey, ngalo ulu” you forgot the hair. I explained her that my dad doesn’t have hair ha I think your bald head is cute dad :)

Fakafamili

The week following Mother’s day is Family week, and people in my village exchange meals and have fellowship with each other in their homes. Meleongo’s family invited me to join them as a part of their family. On the last night of Fakafamili it was Ongo’s family’s turn to host. Another family from Tufuvai came to their home for fellowship and dinner. During meals in Tonga that are shared with a lot of people it is traditional to do fakamalos, thank you speeches. Mosese (Ongo’s dad) was giving a fakamalo and he started to speak about me. He was speaking in Tongan so I wasn’t picking up on everything he was saying, but I was understanding the majority of it. Anyways, he was saying that he looks at me like a daughter and you could tell he was starting to struggle to find the right words and finally he just says, “Bailey famili pe”, Bailey is family”. It brought tears to my eyes and made me feel so valued.

Later that evening after I got home I was thinking about what Mosese said and it really empowered me in my Peace Corps service. I had just finished a long week at school feeling like I was not helping my students at all. I swear my students looked at me like they had never heard a word of English before. And it was frustrating and discouraging, but then I remembered the Peace Corps’ motto, “Kau Nguae ‘Ofa”, we work for love. It isn’t “English Fluency”. It is love and I know without a doubt that I have given love and have received just as much if not more love back. My heart is so full of joy and love here in Tonga! 

'Aho Fa'e

The Sunday following Fakame is Mother’s Day, same as in America. There is a big church service during the morning celebrating the women and different women in the church lead the church service. Instead of going to church I went with Meleongo to her sister’s house and helped prepare a feast for the women. The feast was for all the women that go to the Free Wesleyan Church in the Village Angaha (located above Tufuvai). After church all the women came to Kato’s house and got to enjoy a large spread of food. It was a full house! It would have been neat for me to get to see the church service, but preparing the feast was fun. A woman that was also helping with preparation kept saying things to me like, “Good thing you came” and “We never could have done this without you”, which is funny. My work efficiency that day was probably equal to if they had had a five year old there instead of me.

I also made Mother’s Day gifts with all my students. It was so fun and so cute! 

Fakame

In Tonga May is the month of family. The first Sunday of May is called Fakame and it is to celebrate the children. The children spend the weeks leading up to Fakeme practicing hymns, action songs, skits, and bible verses. The children then led the church service (except for the actual sermon). Then in the afternoon the kids do their action songs and skits. It was such a fun thing to be a part of in my community!

Don't Worry, be Ha'apai

We had a week holiday this past week so we (the Sams and I) went on vacay to the island group Ha’apai in Tonga. It was absolutely beautiful. It is hard to put the beauty of Ha’apai into words.

We started our voyage to Ha’apai at 4am Tuesday morning, taking the boat from ‘Eua to Tongatapu. After a quick stroll and an ice cream cone we got on an 18 passenger plane to Ha’apai and 45 minutes above the pacific ocean we were there. We got the privilege to stay with a Tongan family. They took such good care of us.

We spent a lot of our time there on the sandy beaches. One day we asked a man to take us to a small island on his fishing boat. It was about a 30 minute ride to the island of Uoleva. It was unreal. There are no villages in Uoleva, but there are a couple of resort like places. We played on the beach there and swam for a while before heading back to the main island.

The best part of Ha’apai was the large variety of fish. The fish was soooooo good! We ate it raw, fried, and cooked in coconut milk almost every night!

There aren’t currently any PCVs in Ha’apai because there was a very devastating cyclone that hit Ha’apai a little over a year ago. There was a lot of rebuilding still happening while we were there, but the impact of the cyclone was still very visable. There were a lot of house frames with no roofs/ windows, broken trees, and people living in Red Cross tents.

Such a happy experience and just the R&R we needed. Y’all need to go!

‘Ofa atu!